Uski Gali Mein Phir Mujhe

Uski gali mein phir mujhe ek baar le chalo
Majboor kar ke mujhe mere yaar ley chalo

Shayed yeh mera vehm ho, mera khayal ho
Mumkin hai us ko mere baad, mera malal ho
Pachta raha ho ab mujhe, dar sa utha ke woh
Baitha ho meri raah mein, aankhain biccha ke woh
Us ne bhi to kiya tha mujhe pyar, le chalo…


Uski gali mein phir mujhe ek baar le chalo…….

Deewana keh ke logon ne har baat taal di
Duniya ne mere paaon mein zanjeer daal di
Chaho jo tum to mera muqaddar sanwar do
Yaaron yeh merey paaon ki bedi utar do
Us ne kiya hai milne ka iqrar, ley chalo..

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Letter To Mr. Bill Gates

Dear Mr Bill Gates,

This letter is from Banta Singh from Punjab. We have bought a computer for our home and we found problems, which I want to bring to your notice.


1. After connecting to internet we planned to open e-mail account and whenever we fill the form in Hotmail in the password column, only ****** appears, but in the rest of the fields whatever we typed appears, but we face this problem only in password field. We checked with hardware vendor Santa Singh and he said that there is no problem in keyboard.Because of this we open the e-mail account with password *****. I request you to check this as we ourselves do not know what the password is.


2. We are unable to enter anything after we click the ’shut down ‘ button.


3. There is a button ’start’ but there is no “stop” button. We request you to check this.


4. We find there is ‘Run’ in the menu. One of my friend clicked ‘run ‘ has ran upto Amritsar! So, we request you to change that to “sit”, so that we can click that by sitting.


5. One doubt is that any ‘re-scooter’ available in system? As I find only ‘re-cycle’, but I own a scooter at my home.


6. There is ‘Find’ button but it is not working properly. My wife lost the door key and we tried a lot for tracing the key with this ‘ find’, but unable to trace. Is it a bug??


7. Every night I am not sleeping, as I have to protect my ‘mouse’ from CAT, So I suggest u to provide one DOG to kill that cat.


8. Please confirm when u are going to give me money for winning HEARTS’ (playing cards in games) and when are u coming to my home to collect our money.


9. My child learnt ‘Microsoft word’ now he wants to learn ‘Microsoft sentence’, so when u will provide that?


Best regards,
Banta.

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Mast - Bloopers

1. Aftab boards an express train from pune.But when he reaches Mumbai,he alights from a local train at CST station .Funny.

2. When asked by his friends,Aftab says that his house number is 203.But later when he brings Urmila home,his house number reads as 2A 3266/A 5818.Did he switch homes overnite?

3. Aftab goes to Urmila’s house in a rickshaw. So how come on alighting, the rickshaw drives off without our hero paying the fare.

4. How is that a Top Film actress places a pizza order at a local bunk shop when ... - yeh filmi jantha !

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Kuch Kuch Hota hai - Bloopers

1. In the scene when Rani Mukherji talks about babys features to Farida Jalal "Bilkup Papa Par Gayi..." it is not real baby, it is a doll, you can not see baby blinking her eyes, and no hair. But the next continuing scene when she handovers the baby to Farida Jalal it is real baby.

2. Rani Mukherjee leaves eight letters for her daughter to be read by the girl on each birthday .Did she expect her daughter to start reading and writing from her first birthday?

3. Archana Puran Sing throws her shoe at the audience while dancing. But in the very next scene she wears a high-heeled shoe. How she got the shoe very quickly.

4. At the summer camp Sharukh Khan returns Kajol’s dupatta. How did he know that she is there in the same camp?

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Java Interview Attended By Banta Singh

Q. What is the difference between an Abstract class and Interface?
A. Terms are different … nothing more ]
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Q. What is JFC ?
A. Jilebi, Fanta & Coffee
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Q. Explain 2 tier and 3 -tier Architecture ?
A. Two wheelers like scooters will have 2 tyres and autorickshaws will have 3 tyres.
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Q. I want to store more than 10 objects in a remote server ? Which methodology will follow ?
A. Send it through courier.
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Q. Can I modify an object in CORBA ?
A. As you wish , I do not have any objections.
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Q. How to communicate 2 threads each other ?
A. Non living things can’t communicate.
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Q. What is meant by flickering ?
A. Closing and opening of eyes at girls.
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Q. Explain RMI Architecture?
A. I am a computer professional not an architect student.
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Q. What is the use of Servlets ?
A. In hotels, they can replace servers.
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Q. What is the dif ference between Process and Threads ?
A. Threads are small ropes. Make a rope from threads is an example for process.
******************************************************************************************************
Q. When is update method called ?
A. Who is update method?
******************************************************************************************************
Q. What is JAR file ?
A. File that can be kept inside a jar.
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Q. What is JINI ?
A. A ghost which was Aladdin’s friend.
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Q. How will you call an Applet from a _Java Script?
A. I will give invitation.
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Q. How you can know about drivers and database information ?
A. I will go and enquire in the bus depot.
******************************************************************************************************
Q. What is serialization ?
A. Arranging one after the other from left to right.
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Q. What is bean ? Where it can be used ?
A. A kind of vegetable. In kitchens for cooking they can be used.
******************************************************************************************************
Q. Write down how will you create a binary Tree ?
A. When we sow a binary seed , a binary tree will grow.
******************************************************************************************************
Q. What is the exact difference between Unicast and Multicast object ?
A. If in a society, if there is only one caste, then it is Unicast, else it is multicast

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Hum Pe Bhi Wo Waqt Aaya Tha

Hum pe bhi wo waqt aya tha,
Kisi ko aankhon me basaya tha.
Usi ne lut liya mera jahaan,
Jise is dil ki dhadkan banaya tha.

Har baat samjhane k liye nahi hoti,
Zindagi hamesha paane ke liye nhi hoti.
Yaad to aksar aati hai hume aapki,
Par har yaad jatane ke liye nhi hoti.

Dhundo tum jitna,par hum jaisa paoge nahin.
Bichadne k baad bhi bhula paoge nahi.
Maana ki hum mein kuch kami sahi,
par KHUDA ne hum jaisa kisiko banaya bhi nhi.

Sapna kabi sakar nahi hota
mohabat ka koi aakar nahi hota,
sab kuch ho jata hai,
magar Zindagi me dobara
kisi se sacha pyar nahi hota.

Wo mera nhi ye batana ajib lagta hai,
Ab us se ankhe milana ajib lagta hai.
Chahte the jiska hath thamna,
Ab unko humse hath milana bhi ajib lgta hai.

MUNNA BHAI-E circut bapu bole to gandhi ji
kapre kyoin nahi pehnte the?
CIRCUT- bhai bole to bapu bhi
us time ke salman khan the!!

Chain tumse hai,
karaar tumse hai,
jindgi ki har Bahaar tumse hai.
Milte hai yu to laakho haseen,
kya kare dil ka khumaar tumse hai.

Aap se khafa hokar hum jayenge kahan,
Aap sa sathi hum payenge kahan.
Dil ko to kaise bhi samjha lenge hum,
Lekin ANKHON KE AANSU chupayege kahan.

Wo hamara imtihan kya legi,
milayegi nazron se nazar to nazar jhuka legi.
Use meri kabar pr diya jalane ko mat kehna,
wo naadan hai dosto apna HAATH jala legi.

Dekar hath dosti ka Vaapas liya nahi jata,
is naazuk dosti ko zakhm diya nahi jata.
Sach much ye duniya badi zalim hai,
SMS sasta hai fir b Aapse kiya nahi jata.

Hamari aapki dosti bilkul FIX hai,
Love emotion sadness sab kuch MIX hai,
Hum to apko na bhulenge kabhi,
Aap bhul n jaye bus thoda RISsK hai.

Being ur frend is my basic necessity.
Missin U is my habit.
Fightin wit U is my timepass.
Bt Forgettin U is like
Taking My Life Out Of Me.

Hum pe bhi wo waqt aya tha,
Kisi ko aankhon me basaya tha.
Usi ne lut liya mera jahaan,
Jise is dil ki dhadkan banaya tha.

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Woh Hamara Imtihan Kya Legi

Wo hamara imtihan kya legi,
milayegi nazron se nazar to nazar jhuka legi.
Use meri kabar pr diya jalane ko mat kehna,
wo naadan hai dosto apna HAATH jala legi.

Dekar hath dosti ka Vaapas liya nahi jata,
is naazuk dosti ko zakhm diya nahi jata.
Sach much ye duniya badi zalim hai,
SMS sasta hai fir b Aapse kiya nahi jata.

Hamari aapki dosti bilkul FIX hai,
Love emotion sadness sab kuch MIX hai,
Hum to apko na bhulenge kabhi,
Aap bhul n jaye bus thoda RISsK hai.

Being ur frend is my basic necessity.
Missin U is my habit.
Fightin wit U is my timepass.
Bt Forgettin U is like
Taking My Life Out Of Me.

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Kabir Vani & Software Engineer

Kabir :Aisi baani boliye, man ka aapa khoye
Auron ko sheetal kare, aaphi sheetal hoye

SE:Aisa presentation dijiye, man ka aapa khoye,
Auron ko confuse kare, aaphi confuse hoye

Kabir :Guru Govind doyu khade, kaake laagu paye
Balihari guru aapke, govind diyo bataye

SE :Client aur manager doyu khade, kaake laagu paye
Balihaari client aapke, manager diyo bataye.

Rahim :Rahiman dhaaga prem ka, mat todo chatkaye
tode se fir jude na, jude gaanth pad jaaye

SE:SE confidence manager, mat todo chatkaye
Project to barbaad hoye hi, appraisal mein waat lag jaye.

Kabir Dheere dheere re mana, dheere sab kuch hoye,
Maali seenche sow ghara, ritu aaye phal hoye

SE: Dheere dheere re project leader, dheere project execute hoye,
client dikhaye kitni bhi urgency, release deadline ke baad hi hoye..

Kabir :Jab Tun Aaya Jagat Mein , Log Hanse Tu Roye
Aise Karni Na Kari , Pache Hanse Sab roye

SE :Jab project aaye company mein, client hase hum roye,
Aisi karni na kari , tu hase client roye…

Kabir: Dukh Mein Sumiran Sab Kare , Sukh Mein Kare Na Koye
Jo Sukh Mein Sumiran Kare , Tau Dukh Kahe Ko Hoye

SE:Rush hour mein kaam sab karen , routine mein kare na koye,
jo routine mein sab kaam kare, to rush hour kaahe hoye.

Kabir :Pothhi padh padh jag mooya, pandit bhaya na koye,
Dhai aakhar prem ka, padhe so pandit hoye

SE:Coding kar ar jag mooya, programmer bhaya na koye,
Do shabd copy-paste ke, kare so programmer hoye.

Kabir :Chalati chakki dekh ke, diya Kabira roye,
Do paatan ke beechmein, saabut bacha na koye

SE:Client aur manager ko dekhke, engineers saare roye,
Deadline meet karne ke chakkar mein, saabut bacha na koye.

Kabir:Chinta Aisee Dakini, Kat Kaleja Khaye
Vaid Bichara Kya Kare , Kahan Tak Dawa Lagaye

SE :aisi dakini, man ka tension badhaaye, kaam itna ho sar par, time pe complete kaise ho paaye.



Kabir:Maala To Kar Mein Phire , Jeebh Phire Mukh Mahin Manua To Chahun Dish Phire, Yeh To Sumiran Nahin
SE:Engineer gaye sab cigarette peene, Leader phire office maahin,
Cubicle se jyaada time canteen pe rahe, yeh to dedication naahin

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Santa Banta SMS Collection

Santa once wanted to transfer some files form one PC to another. Following was the steps followed by him.

1) Right clicked the mouse on the file which he wanted to transfer and selected CUT option.

2) Disconnected the mouse from that PC.

3) Took that mouse carefully and connected it to the other PC where he wanted to copy that file.

4) Right clicked the mouse and selected the PASTE option.
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Q: Why did Santa take his pregnant wife Jeeto to Pizza Hut?
A: Because they advertised: ‘FREE DELIVERY’
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Jeeto: Kal raat tum mujhe neend mein tumne mujhe gaaliyan di
Santa: Tumhari galat fahami hai.
Jeeto: Kaisi galatfahami?
Santa: Yehi ki mein soya tha.
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One day Santas Girlfriend asks him, Darling,
on our Engagement will you give me a RING?
Santa:Ya sure, Give me ur Telephone No.
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Banta was once visiting London. After a long walk in one of very fancy clean streets of London, he found himself needing a toilet badly. After a long search he could not find any, and eventually couldn’t control and chose a silent corner of a clean street to release himself. Once he had just started, a police official approached him,
Hey, What do you think you re doing here?
Banta: sorry I have to “Pee”
Officer: No PP here okay? Follow me…
The Police officer took him to a beautiful garden nearby with lots of grass, flowers and singing birds around….
Officer: Pee here.. have a nice day.
Banta: Oh sir … that is very nice of you, is this English courtesy ?
Officer: No… This is Indian Embassy !!

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Kisi ne pucha dost kya hai?

Kisi ne pucha dost kya hai?
Maine kanto par chal kar bata diya,
Kitna pyar karoge dost ko?
Maine pura aasman dikha diya,
Kaise rakhoge dost ko?
Maine halke se phoolon ko sehla diya,
Kisi ki nazar lag gayi to?
Maine palkon mein uss ko chupa liya,
Jaan se bhi pyara dost kise kehte ho?
Maine tera naam bata diya.

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Shayaries From Fanna Movie

Tere Dile mein meri saanson ko panah mil jaaye
Tere Ishq mein meri Jaan Fanaa Ho jaaye.
…………………………………………………………..

E Khuda Aaj Ye Faisla Karde,
Use Mera ya Mujhe Uska Karde.
Bahut Dukh Sahe He Maine,
Koi Khusi Ab Toh Muqadar Karde.
Bahot Muskil Lagta Hai Usse Duur Rehna,
Judai Ke Safar Ko Kum Karde.
Jitna Duur Chale Gaye Woh Mujhse,
Use Utna Kareeb Karde.
Nahi Likha Agar Nasib Me Uska Naam,
To Khatam Kar Ye Zindagi aur Mujhe FANAA Karde.
…………………………………………………………..

Aag suraj main hoti hai ,
Jalna dharti ko padta hai
 mohabbat aankhen karti hain ,
tadapna dil ko padta hai
…………………………………………………………..

Ankhen to pyar me dilki zuban hoti hai,
sachi chahat to sada bezuban hoti hai,
pyar mai dard bhi mile to kya gabrana,
suna hai dard se chahat aur jawan hoti hai….
…………………………………………………………..

Phool hun Gulaab ka
Chameli ka mat samjhna
Aashiq hun aapka
Apni Saheli ka mat samjhna
…………………………………………………………..

Dur Humse Jaa Paoge Kaise,
Humko Bhool Paoge Kaise.
Hum Who Khushbu Jo Saanson Mein Utar Jaye,
Khud Apni Saanxon Ko Rok Paoge Kaise..
…………………………………………………………..

Bekhudi Ki Zindagi Hum Jiya Nahi Karte,
Yun kisika ka Jaam Hum Piya Nahi Karte.
Unse Kehdo Mohabbat Ka Izhaar Aakar Khud Karein,
Yun Kisika Peecha Hum Nahin Karte
…………………………………………………………..

RONE DE TU AAJ HAMAKO TU AANKHE SUJANE DE
BAHO ME LELE AUR KHUD KO BHEEG JANE DE
HAI JO SEENE ME QUAID DARIYA WO CHUT JAYEGA
HAI ITANA DARD KI TERA DAMAN BHEEG JAYEGA..
…………………………………………………………..

Adhoori saans thi dhadkan adhoori thi adhooren ham
Magar ab chaand poora hain falak pe aur ab pooren hain ham
…………………………………………………………..

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Two Lovers Plan to die

Two Lovers Plan to die

Two Lovers plan to suicide.
Boy jumped first, Girl closed her eyes & return back saying love is blind.
Boy in air opened his parachute saying love never dies.

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Husband asks, Do you know the meaning of WIFE

Husband asks, Do you know the meaning of WIFE.
It means...Without Information Fighting Everytime!
WIFE satys No, it means -
With Idiot for Ever

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Why do Couples Hold Hands During Their Wedding Day?

Why do couples hold hands during their wedding day?.?.?.?.... It is just a formality, like two boxers shaking hands before the fight begins!

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Shaher ki is daud me daud ke karna kya hai?

Shaher ki is daud me daud ke karna kya hai?
From:- Lage Raho Munna Bhai


Shaher ki is daud me daud ke karna kya hai?
Jab yehi jeena hai dosto to phir marna kya hai?

Paheli barish me train late hone ki fikr hai
Bhul gaye bhigte hue tahelna kya hai?

Serails ke kirdaaro ka saara haal hai malum
par maa ka haal puchhne ki fursat kise hai?

Ab ret pe nage pao tahelte kyu nahi?
108 hai chanel phir dil bahelte kyu nahi?

Internet ki duniya ke to touch me hai,
lekin pados me kon raheta hai jaante tak nahi.

Mobile, Landline sab ki bharmaar hai,
Lekin jigri dost tak pahuche aise taar kaha hai?

Kab dubte hue suraj ko dekha tha yaad hai?
Kab jaana tha shaam ka woh banana kya hai?

To Dosto Shaher ki es daud me daud ke karna kya hai
Jab yahi jeena hai to phir Marna kya hai?

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Kya tumhare boyfriend kisi joote ki company ka representative hain

Ek baat meri samajh mein bilkul nahi aati hai
Tumhari chhapalon ki design har roz badli hui nazar aati hai
Sabhi sandal apne aap mein attractive hain
Kya tumhare boyfriend kisi joote ki company ka representative hain

*********************************

Bhuto Sa Chehra....

Bhuto sa chehra tera
Chudel si muskan hai
Rang tera dekh ke... rup tera dekh ke
Kutte bhi hairan hai

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Bhagwan Shankar ke gale me naag lipte ho

Bhagwan Shankar ke gale me naag lipte ho

Biwi ne bade pyar se pati ke
Gale me bahein dali aur poocha
Kaise Lag rahin hu ji?
Pati : Jaise Bhagwan Shankar ke gale me naag lipte ho

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Nurse ! Dr. Ur Wife’s phone
Dr. I’m busy whats the matter ?
Nurse : She wants to kiss u
Dr : I am Busy . U take her kiss n give me later.

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Sardar proposed a Girl,
Girl said Im 1yr elder to you,
Sardar said Oye No Problem Soniye,
I'll marry you NEXT YEAR..

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Baadshah - Bloopers

Baadshah - Bloopers

1. A kitten jumps over Twinkle Khanna when Shah Rukh is talking to her. So how come when Shah Rukh picks it up it becomes a full grown cat.


2. In the midst of a fight between Shah Rukh and Sharad Saxena, a bandage mysteriously appears on Shah Rukhs left little finger.

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Baghban - Bloopers

Baghban - Bloopers

1. In BAGHBAN,right after Holi Amitabh and Hema go to stay with their sons for a period of 6 months. During this period, Diwali gets no mention but Valentine's Day is celebrated, after which KarwaChauth celebrations take place.How is this possible in a period of 6 months?


2. Amitabh Bachchan sings a sone over the phone to Hema Malini after inserting Re 1 coin.Even though the song lasts for more than five minutes,the line doesn't get disconnected.Special concessions for Bollywood?

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Teacher And Naughty Students (Hindi)

Teacher And Naughty Students (Hindi)

SIR: BACHCHO KASAM KHAO KABHI SHARAB, CIGERETTE NAHI PIOGE, NON-VEG NAHI KHAOGE.

BACHCHE: NAHI KHAENGE SIR.

SIR: KABHI LADKIYON KO NAHI CHHEDOGE.

BACHCHE: THEEK HAI SIR.

SIR: JUA NAHI KHELOGE.

BACHCHE: OK SIR.

SIR: DESH KE LIYE JAAN BHI DE DOGE.

BACHCHE : DE DENGE SIR, AISI JAAN KA AUR KARENGE BHI KYA …..

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Shayari SMS

1)Raat ko Raat ka tohfa nahi dete,
Dil ko jazbaat ka tohfa nahi detd,
Hum to tumhe chaand b de dete,
Magar chaand ko chaand ka tohfa nahi dete.
_____________________________________________
2)Har pal me pyar hai, Har lamhe me khushi hai, Kho do to yaadein hai, Jee lo to zindagi hai
_____________________________________________
3)Jaane kya mujhse zamaana chahta hai,
Mera dil todkar mujhe hasana chahta hai,
Jaane jya baat chalakti hai mere chehre se,
Har shaks mujhe aazmaana chahta hai.
_____________________________________________

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Friendship Shayari & Poems

lafz aap do, geeth hum banayenge
manzil aap pao, raasta hum banayenge,
khush ap raho khushiyan hum dilayenge ,
ap bas dost bane raho, dosti hum nibhayenge

2)log har mod pe ruk ruk ke sambhalte kyun hain
itna darte hain to phir ghar se nikalte kyun hain

main na jugnu hun diya hun na koi tara hun
roshni wale mere nam se jalte kyun hain

nind se mera talluq hi nahin barson se
khwab aake meri chat pe tahalte kyun hain

mod hota hai jawani ka sambhalne ke liye
aur sab log yahin ake phisalte kyun hain

3)Mohabbat me hum mashoor kya huwe..
har harkat humari deewangi lagnay lagi..
lafz jo niklay haal-e-dil ka bayan karne ,
zamane ko har wo baat shahyari lagnay lagi

4)Aap ki Hasi Kabhi Kam naa Ho
Aapki Aankh kabhi Aasuon se Nam naa Ho.
Mile Zindagi me Har Khushi Aapko.
Bhale uss Khushi me Hum ho naa Ho

5)dosti hum ne khoob nibhayi hai….
dosti aur pyaar me na koi dewaar banayi hai….
log to dosti karte hain chehre dekh kar….
par aap ne to dosti ki ek alag pehchaan di hai

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